I have heard about it,studied it and even seen it but never experienced the feel of death.It seems ironical having to say this as I am a doctor and the expectation is that death is commonplace.Truly,I have felt sad when I see disease or death in hospitals but the perspective is quite different when it happens to your loved one as realised in the last couple of months.Death has made me cry before people and equally,in the dark corners of my house.
In September 2016, my mother in law passed away.She was a victim of a road traffic accident in the busy,reckless,potholed and unforgiving roads of Cochin.She was the pillon passenger of a scooter driven by her daughter and as she turned left on a junction,a speeding bus trying to overtake a signal couple of yards away,knocked the scooter down.My sister in law fell on the pedestrian side and since she had a helmet,managed to escape with a minor injury.My mother in law was thrown on to the road and very bus that hit them ,then ran over her head.Everything ended.A couple of seconds, that's all it took.She was gone.No human,science or technology could help.The grief and loss cannot be put in words as it is immeasurable and would do it only injustice.
In the following days,week and months,I saw love,support and human kindness in measures I have never witnessed before.Every day we had lots of people coming in ,the same tragic incident would be relayed over and over again,their were silent sobs and loud wailings.There were prayers and meditations everyday.Slowly and painfully,life goes on .She was a wonderful person and she still is,where ever she is.
I have been meaning to write this piece of my heart for some time.This is no invitation for sympathy or tears but to provoke some thoughts.
Our roads are bad and so are the people who drive on it.I know as a nation we have come a long way but that's no excuse.Why is everyone on the road in such a hurry,why not wait for a few seconds behind another vehicle instead of overtaking.For me and my family , a few seconds took everything!! During these difficult times,I realised how powerful crying loud is.Although time alone after bereavement is needed,the talks and loud cries takes the burden of the heart at least for a while.Our community and family systems have this coping mechanism embedded into it unlike may other societies where people find it difficult to express at all.A shoulder to cry on without being judged or rebuked is all that is needed most times.
At the end of the day,it is about moving on.She will not be forgotten and continues to live among us by what she taught us or how she lived her life.Life,it runs,walks,slows down but never stops.
I know there will be a day when I will see the Yamaraj face to face but hopefully by then i would done my little bit here.
